People are random...

especially me! i have eaten a few too many oreos and am going to write this in the burst of energy it gives me before i go to bed. so here are a few random facts for you to munch on...

1. I am going to Montreal Feb 17-21 with wonderful IVCFers: Susie, Nicole, and Christine, to see our friend Tim who is doing an internship with IVCF right now and also to see Concordia which is a school i might go to after i'm done at UVic to take a 2 yr masters in Art Therapy. Who knows.

2. My house is superbly cold. Ah! The heat is broken and I'm internally weeping because if I cried on the outside my tears would turn to ice.

3. Perhaps I shall be off to China May 1 to June 6 with IVCF on a global partnership. Ask me more questions later.

4. My personality type according to the Myers Briggs Test is INFP. To check out your own take this short 5-10 min questionnaire about your preferences (it's about 70 questions). Then type in your four letters into a search machine and read your profile. It's uber fun and you should all tell me your personality types too! I love this stuff. Here's the questionnaire: http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes2.asp

ps. holey gloves are good for typing in cold weather.
pps. i spent 44. 52 on art supplies today.

Intimacy: Experiencing the Love of Christ

For myself it's so easy to seek love and attention from others. It comes naturally. Far more easily than seeking love from Jesus. Actually seeking love from Jesus hurts because he has to pry my heart open to take out all the junk I've fixed within it and then he has to stitch up the holes so he can fill up my battered heart with his love, which is like a healing balm for my soul. Who knew experiencing the love of Christ was so dangerous, yet if we never experience his love our hearts will remain tiny, insecure, and wholey. Not holy. He has come to refine us with fire, to turn us, who are marred clay into gold.

My desire is for love, deep thirst quenching love, yet this world only offers the shallow kind, the kind that will make you thirsty in a second, a salt water that shrivels you and never quenches your thirst. It's like a cruel joke that the devil is playing on us. He says, "Look at this wonderful spring of living water, it's clean. Look at all those people who are drinking from it. Aren't they having fun? Don't they look fulfilled? I mean, sure God says he's got something better, and maybe he does, but come on, his pool is up the mountain side and will take too much work to get to. He asks a bit much when you could just settle down here, don't you think? Here, have a drink. It won't kill you."

But God says, "Come up the mountain side. The spring air will revive your soul. I'll walk with you and carry you if you'll only say Yes to me. This water the lyer is talking about is polluted, it warps the mind, the soul. The people who drink from it have glazed eyes and hearts and can't determine right from wrong. They've gone blind but they're addicted. To what you ask? To pleasing people, to looking for love in all the wrong places. The fish are floating on the surface from the green muck of jealousy and comparison and lies. Can't you see? The water I offer will actually strengthen you, give you a clean heart and mind. Just say yes and I'll take you there."

God not only seeks to heal our wounds, but to give us new hearts entirely.

Ezekiel 36:25-28 says, "Then I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you will be clean. Your filth will be washed away, and you will no longer worship idols. And I will give you a new heart with new and right desires, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony heart of sin and give you a new, obedient heart. And I will put my Spirit in you so you will obey my laws and do whatever I command. And you will live in Israel, the land I gave your ancestors long ago. You will be my people, and I will be your God."

In Christ we are...

Clean
Free from worshiping idols (pleasing people in my case)
Given a new heart
Given new and right desires
Given a new Spirit
Given a new, obedient heart
A home
A new identity
A relationship with God

In Galations 1:10 Paul says, "Obviously I'm not trying to be a people pleaser! No, I am trying to please God. If I were still trying to please people, I would not be Christ's servant."

And in 2 Corinthians 5:21 ~ "He died for everyone so that those who receive his new life will no longer live to please themselves. Instead, they will live to please Christ, who died and was raised from the dead."

We are called not to please others or ourselves, but Christ.

"And what union can there be between God's temple and idols? For we are the temple of the living God... Because we have these promises, dear friends, let us cleanse ourselves from everything that can defile our body or spirit. And let us work toward complete purity because we fear God." 2 Cor. 6:16 & 7:1

In church today the woman who was preaching said, We can't have a little bit of ourselves and a little bit of Jesus, we have to have none of us and all Jesus. All Jesus. It's so extreme, but what other way is there to live? I hope and pray God works this out in my soul that I'd give up everything in him. I'm not there at all yet, but pray that he'd guide me towards all him and none of me.

Weakness: The Land of Uncertainty

These past few days, ever since a retreat with my dear friends of IVCF, God has got me thinking about weakness. In my own life I feel like I have many weaknesses and I'm sure you can all think of one or two that drive you up the wall with frustration or despair. But it's not just that they are there, my problem is that I'm so concerned that others will think less of me if I share that I feel the need to hide my weakness.

For me I struggle with sharing deeply from within myself the things I know God wants me to say to others. I think I'm mainly afraid of their opinion of me, that I'm random, no good, crazy, or offensive. Will they like me? I think, If I ask them to take away their masks? To have deep fellowship with others means to lay our souls on the table, filled with holes, wounds, and blood. It's kind of like open heart surgery. The doctors need to get in there to fix the problem, but they have to cut you open first.

I think God desires all of us to lay ourselves on the surgery bed and say, "Okay, God, I'm here and I know this is going to be painful, but I've got to let others know so they can be healed too." Vulnerability, honesty, and authenticity is where true fellowship is found. When we lay our pride down and offer ourselves to God in humility with others watching we share our weakness and uphold each other. None of us are perfect and I think it would be helpful if people would actually give each other proof that they aren't. I am not perfect. I sin, care way too much what others think of me and desparately want to be liked. But my satisfaction, wholeness, and healing, only come from one place: Jesus.

In Jesus I can find peace. I think God wants us to open and willingly share our hearts with others because He wants to heal our wounds. He desires to create communities of reconciliation, love, and wholeness. So if you're feeling risky pray for God to give you the opportunity to share your heart today, or to listen to another and share together. We need to know that there is no heirarchy in the kingdom of God.

Peace,
Robyn

"So don't get tired of doing what is good. Don't get discouraged and give up, for we will reap a harvest of blessing at the appropriate time. Whenever we have the opportunity, we should do good to everyone, especially to our Christian brothers and sisters." Galations 6:9-10

Surrender: Learning to Move

Comrades, Friends, lend me your ears,

I've just started school yesturday (the harshness of life), but have just come back from an amazing time at home visiting friends and family and connecting with C4Cers at the Winter Conference in Calgary.

Winter Con was pretty sweet, but I didn't truly remember all I had learned until I talked with some of my friends who went to Urbana. Wow! It was so exciting to hear their stories of God calling them to more, not settling for any less than giving glory and honour to the King!

I've been having some internal struggles these past few days in relation to this and the area of surrender. Dictionary.com states surrender as "to give oneself up, as into the power of another; submit or yield". Christ continually talks about dying to oneself, picking up your cross and following him. Does this even register with half of us? What does it mean to surrender to death, place ourself on the alter, do whatever God wants whenever, totally relinquished to His will and purpose. It is a serious consideration to give up everything into the hands of the Living God.

Yet God calls us to this countless times...

A Story of Surrender:

In Exodus 14 God calls the Israelites to rest beside the sea so that the Egyptians will think they are trapped and race after them. They do so, but when all this occurs the "people began to panic, and they cried out to the LORD for help...But Moses told the people, "Don't be afriad. Just stand where you are and watch the LORD rescue you. The Egyptians that you see today will never be seen again. The LORD himself will fight for you. You won't have to lift a finger in your defense." (verses 10b & 13-14).

"Then the LORD said to Moses, "Why are you crying out to me? Tell the people to get moving! Use your shepherd's staff--hold it out over the water, and a path will open up before you through the sea. Then all the people of Israel will walk through on dry ground. Yet I will harden the hearts of the Egyptians, and they will follow the Israelites into the sea. Then I will recieve great glory at the expense of Pharaoh and his armies, chariots, and charioteers. When I am finished with Pharaoh and his army, all Egypt will know that I am the LORD!" (verses 14-18 NLT Italics added)

Even in our fear God is planning something great. He's got things working for his glory and as he calls us into obedience, asking us to rest beside oceans, he calls us to greater obedience, calling us to walk through oceans. Without God we can do nothing, we are trapped between one furocious army and one deep ocean. But God calls us from our resting place and says, "Get Moving! For I am with you!"

For me, death means staying where I am when God has called be to move. It seems like traveling through an ocean might just cause lack of oxygen, but God plans big things if we will trust him. Our surrender brings his glory as he fights for us and rescues us.

What is God calling you out of?
What is He calling you toward?

"When the people of Israel saw the mighty power that the LORD had displayed against the Egyptians, they feared the LORD and put their faith in him and his servant Moses."

~Exodus 14:31

What will your response be?
What will He do because of it?

Learning to Move,
Robyn